Carry My Heart

 

To the only One Who's worthy to carry my heart,

 I will let you. It belongs to You anyway. 

Every day I will make the choice, the decision, yes, the action to give You my heart. 

This decision did not come quickly or with any ease. 

Before I knew You could carry my heart, I kept it in my mighty palms. My most capable hands. Oh yes, I knew what I was doing. Surely. 

But then I broke. 

I thought I had it under control. I thought it was okay to hold it all on my own. I knew You were there, watching over me indeed and perhaps occasionally by my side. But what I didn't know, or more likely, a truth I once knew but had so easily forgotten:

I am not my own. I am bought with a price. 

Here is where it hit me again. You deserve my heart. You deserve my every thought, my every plan. Everything I treasure and hold dear, You deserve it. Because You are worthy. And I am not my own. 

I sat in this reality and cried as I lifted my hands and gave You everything most precious to me. 

I surrendered. 

Challenged, hurt, and a bit sad, I did what I knew was my duty to do. Give You my heart. And this is right. 

Because You're worthy. 

And that is enough. That is all I need to know to give You everything. You deserve much more. 

But then.

Then. 

I heard something I didn't expect to hear in this moment of surrender.

'Look at Who is carrying your heart.'

The Only One Who is worthy is carrying my heart! 

The One Who, before the foundation of the world, knew me. The One Who has walked with and watched me in every moment of my twenty two years of life. The One Who's love never runs dry. The One Who sees the depths of my heart and loves me the same. The One Who's love for the world compelled Him to come to us as a baby boy. The One Who chose the most patient and humble path by living life as a human (to be near to us and to understand us; the greatest demonstration of love one will ever know), ministering to the world, dying for our sins, rising again, and the One Who's coming back for us.  

And when I realized Who was carrying my heart, I saw that it was tended to, cared for, loved and carried in a way no one else could hold it. Not I, not a man, nor a deep and dear friend could carry my heart in such a way. 

When I realized Who was carrying my heart, I trusted my release to the One.

And after this, there was nothing I wanted more to do than 

Let Him carry my heart. 

~Ash