Sometimes it's unpopular

So a lesson I’ve been learning lately, and something I struggle with, is standing up for the “uncool” or “unpopular.”  It’s hard to stay true to being a Christian or to something you believe in when it feels like EVERYONE else is agreeing with or doing the opposite, isn’t it?In this blog post, I’m going to share with you some struggles I have had in this area and lessons that I have learned.

 
  So basically, I have had trouble with pleasing people and seeking their approval. I always feel fearful inside when I feel someone is mad at me or disagrees with me. I want everyone to like me. Some areas in which this hurt/s me are, singing for the worship team at my youth group, cheerleading, and when I’m with my peers. I’m going to start with cheerleading. So last year I was a cheerleader for my homeschool team. My squad consisted of nine girls including myself. I’m just going to be completely honest and say that it was a hard year for me. Don’t get me wrong, I loved doing the cheers and practicing or learning new stunts, but I just felt selfish. For some reason, cheering had affected me to where I had a bad attitude towards my family. I think it was because cheering gave me a mindset that I was better than everyone else, and cooler than everyone else. And though some people tell me this is not true and that I am really nice, there still was part of me that said, “look at me.” Also, nine girls creates a lot of peers and drama. I was so focused on trying to please everyone and trying to be on good terms with everybody, that I was willing to compromise just a little bit of what I believed. I wasn’t strong enough to say no to peer pressure when girls were talking about things I shouldn’t be talking about. I didn’t always gossip about people, I actually hardly ever did, but when someone gossiped to me, I didn’t have the guts to walk away or say something. I let my feelings, selfish attitude, and convictions hide behind my smile. I look back and wish that I could’ve done things differently. I also wished I could’ve listened to my mom more because she happens to be an expert on Not Caring What Your Peers Think of You 101: A guide to standing up for what you believe. If she ever wrote a book, that’s probably what it would be called!

So the next area in which I struggle with pleasing people is when I sing with my worship team. I find myself focusing on the performing part of singing more than I do the worshipping part of it. I used to try so hard to please my worship leader, the audience, and my youth pastor when I really should've been focusing on pleasing God! I have gotten better at this but I still struggle with it in this area somewhat.  And also just peers in general, I’m always trying to please them. I want to be the perfect Christian. The thing is, there is no perfect Christian! I recently heard a quote that said, “We’re not Christians because we are strong and have it all together. We’re Christians because we’re weak and admit we need a Savior.”

I’m not telling you all of this so you can feel bad for me or so that I can rant out my problems. I’m telling you this so that through my experiences, successes, and failures, you can relate to it and that you can be encouraged. If you have ever struggled with this, you are DEFINITELY not alone. I know a lot of people who struggle with this exact same problem. And if you’ve ever felt this way then you understand that it is very exhausting when your focus is trying to please man. For me, I am always discouraged and always go home unsatisfied if I have not reached enough people that were pleased with me. Because if this is our goal, or something we do often, we will never be satisfied. We would have to be Wonder Woman or Superman to please everyone out there! Only God can offer complete satisfaction and peace. “I am leaving you with a gift-peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.” John 14:27.  We can only find true joy and satisfaction in Jesus. When I need help and start fearing what people think of me, I shall choose to give it to God and fear Him. “Anyone who does what pleases God will live forever.” 1 John 2:17b, even when it’s unpopular.

 ~Ashtyn