MARISSA: "But I am NOT a burden"

//: delight ://

a word spoken over me a few weeks into my DTS, a word that i hadn't thought much of until i realized i thought of myself as the opposite

it was a refrain from the endless moments that i considered myself a burden-

to my best friend, to my classmates, to my team, to my teachers, to potential boys that i liked, to my sister, to my parents, and even to God...

last year was the first time that i had ever spoken it out loud; never had i ever once said it in the open- "i feel like a burden..."

and friends i can't stress it enough...
there is POWER in speaking those things out loud.
because until i did i never had the voice to speak against it.

· · · · · · · ·

i remember when i finally could.

i had just gotten back from outreach and was in the process of debrief week.
it was tuesday worship night,
and someone said that they felt God wanted chains to be broken that night.
they called anyone to come up at any time and speak out a lie they used to believe or still do and to than speak the truth to counteract it

now i'm not one to go up in front of people but I knew this was my last chance...to do something unexpected, to say it in front of the people who had seen me and loved me through it all...

i ran up there as fast as i could -so that not even i could stop myself
and i told them,
that for the longest time because of circumstances that had happened i had believed that i was a burden

then i laughed and shook my head looking around at my friends while i said " but i am NOT a burden"

and i knew that it was true-
that my tender and loving God had been pursuing me from the first time that someone had told me i was, from the moment i started to believe i was...

He had pursued me and chased after me, guiding me into this moment of freedom and delight

-Him delighting in me and i delighting in Him-

and still He continues to pursue me.
everyday. in this process.
in the moments that i forgot,

He is there to remind me,

and He is there to delight.

· · · · · · · ·

·hope my story encourages, love you muchly·

-marissa mae